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 Post subject: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:38 pm 
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:^^:



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:39 pm 
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Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata.
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:40 pm 
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Wife - Dekho woh jo aadmi sharaab pi raha hai, ussay maine shaadi se inkar kiya , isliye aaj tak sharaab pi raha hai..
Husband - Wow Itna lamba celebration..



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:41 pm 
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Khan: You cheated with me.
Shop Keeper: No, Sir aapko 100% Japani Radio diya hai.
Khan: No..
Radio kay andar se Larki bolta hai. This is Radio Pakistan.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:41 pm 
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Pathan was thinking hard.
Wife: kya soch rahe ho?
Pathan: Ye GEO walon ko kese pata chalta hai?
Wife: kya?
Pathan: Yahi k aap dekh rahe hain GEO TV....



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:42 pm 
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Pathan to Molvi: kya wazu kiye bina Namaz ho jati hai?
Molvi: Nahi,
Pathan: Hoti hai yaar!
Molvi: Nahi hoti Bhai.
Pathan: Maine khud parh ker dekhi hai......



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:42 pm 
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Sardar: Tere result ka kya banya?
Beta: Madam kehndi si es class vich 1 saal hor lagna ay.
Sardar: Saal chahay 2-3 hor lag jayen bus fail na hoen



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:45 pm 
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SAAS : Khuda ne tumhe 2 annkhe di hay,
chawal se pathar nahi nikal saktin?

BAHU : Khuda ne tumhe 32 daant diye heini,
2,4 pathar nahi chabba saktin...!!



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:46 pm 
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American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
















Sardar : Kya baat hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:47 pm 
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American pathan se: Hum chand pr ja skta hy.




Pathan : To kya hua Hum to soraj pr ja skta hy.




American Impossibe : Tum jal jao ge?





Pathan : Hum ullo nhi Hum rat me jaye ga...



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:48 pm 
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Teacher:Aam K Aam Or Ghutliyon k Dam Ka kiya Matlab hay...
Student: Emran Hashmi....
Teacher: Wo Kese..?.....
Student: Wo Pese bhi Le Letta

hay Or Pappi Bhi...!!=))=))



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:49 pm 
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Lazy boy:apa 1 glass paani de do,
appa:Khud uth k le lo,
boy:apa plz de do na..!!
apa:Ab manga to thapar mardongi
boy:Thapar marne aoo to paani lete ana.. :O



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:50 pm 
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Sarddar 1st time JAHAAZ mein betha,
Jahaaz runway pe chal raha tha,
Sarddar ne pilot ko Zoor se thapar mara or bola:
Mujhe dair ho rahi hay or tu By ROAD jaa raha hay..!!



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:53 pm 
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.





Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.








sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:57 pm 
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Class Main teacher bachon se kehti hain
"Janat me kon kon jaye ga?
sab bache hath kahara kar dete hain lakin ek bacha nahi karta Teacher:- tum ne nahi jana kia?
Student:-Ammi ne kaha tha School seedhey ghar ana warna tangein tor doon gi



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:02 pm 
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Where were you born ?

sardar : Punjab.

Boss : which part ?

sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:03 pm 
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Molvioun ki 1 bus ja rahi thi
Ek molvi sahb ne kaha k ''jahan koi larki nazar aye to
Astagfirullah prho!
Achank ek molvi sahib ne
Astagfriullah bola
Baqi sub bole



Kithay?
Kithay?
Kithay?



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:05 pm 
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Husband To Wife :- Aj main ne 20 Rs ki bachat ki.
Wife:- Wo kaise ..?
Husband :- Main Aj Office Se Bus Ke piche Bhagta huwa Aya..
Wife:- To Taxi ke piche bahag kar ana tha ziyada bach jate



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:07 pm 
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Suna Hai Apki Muskurahat Pe Log Marte Hain..?

.

.

.

.

.

Mujhe Bhi Ek Banda Marwana Hai..
Zaraa Time Nikaal K Aana



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:08 pm 
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70 Years Old Man : Dil Chaahta Hay Ke Shadi Kar Loon.

Friend : To Kar Lo

Old Man : Kisi Bewa Se Kar Loon?

Friend : Kisi Kunwari Se Hi Kar Lo Bewa Apne Ap Ho Jaegi



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:09 pm 
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sardar 1 : Yaar tu to doctor ke paas jane wala tha


sardar 2 : Yaar kal jaunga aaj tabiyat kuch zyada kharab hai



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:10 pm 
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Husband: Meri Biwi Gum ho Gae Hay!
Post Master: Andhay ye post office hai Police Station jao.
Husband: Maaf Kejeay Ga,Khushi mein Samaj Nahin Aarhi Kidhar jaaon?



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:12 pm 
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Teacher:Story sunao

Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay

1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

moral of the story




















Jeisa karo gay, waisa bharo gay...



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:13 pm 
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Log aapko BURA kahe dont mind




PAGAL kahe ghussa nahi hona



JAHIL kahe tou bhi kool rehna



or agr KHUBSURAT kahe tou mun

pai aik thappar marna



mazaq ki bhi koi had hoti hai.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:14 pm 
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Son: sab log shaadi kar k pareshan hain, to ye shaadi kyun kartay hain...?

Dad: beta aqal badaam khanay se nahi, thokar kha k aati hai....



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:15 pm 
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Papa : Beti Inter K Baad Kia Karogi ... ???

Beti : B.B.A Karungi !!!

Papa : What Is B.B.A ???

Beti : Boy Friend Ki Bike Per Aish ... ;->



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:16 pm 
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jadeed Taleemi Muhaware.. !!

1- Science Se Gira Arts Main Atka.

2- Fail Hote Ko Practicals Ka Sahara.

3- Degree Le Ke Chulhey Main Daal.

4- 3rd Division Pass Ghar Ka Na Ghaat Ka.

5- Dost Wo Jo Imtihaan Main Chapai Karaye.

6- Qadar Kho Deta Hai Roz Ka College Aana Jana.

7- Likhna Na Jane Qalam Mera.. ;-)



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:17 pm 
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Ek sardar UK gaya. Aik din wo kisi hotel mein lunch ke liye gaya.
Wo murgi khana chahta tha lekin ussey yeh pata nahi tha ke murgi ko english mein kya kehte hai. Waiter order lene aya.
Waiter: Wat do u want!!!
Sardar: Egg''s Mother



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:25 pm 
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WHY GUNS ARE EASIER THAN WIVES:

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another
for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep
another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run outof ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is better than a wife . . . .

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:27 pm 
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A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when

he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off

to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at

his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,? Hello Doctor! Please

come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked

over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on

a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open

hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I

finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when

you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over

and whispered to the mechanic .....

Guess .....What did the doctor say ???





...


...


...




...


...


...


...


He said:"Try to do it when the engine is running".



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:28 pm 
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Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer...

































The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.
Men keep'a scrollin'...































So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:32 pm 
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa, a
Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:32 pm 
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost
to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:32 pm 
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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
know, I
was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and

didn't notice."



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:33 pm 
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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:34 pm 
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Officer : What Is Your Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Tell Me Properly

Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Father's Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : What Does That Mean ?

Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Native Place

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?

Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer : What Is Your Qualification?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : (angrily) What Is It ?

Candidate : Metric Pass

Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : And What Does That Mean ?

Candidate : Money Problem Sir

Officer : Describe Your Personality

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly

Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : What Is It Now

Candidate : My Performance....?

Officer : Mp !!!

Candidate : What Is That Sir..?

Officer : Mentally Puncture



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:35 pm 
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A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his
boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:37 pm 
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Once Laloo Prasad of Bihar, sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation. A few days later he got this replybr />
"Dear Mr. Laloo prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any
further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks"

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He
arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hoon."

Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter angreeze main hai is liyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad
---- pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet
---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement
---- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence ----
ab letter vetter bhejnay ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call
---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained
---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:38 pm 
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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?



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 Post subject: Re: hansna matt
PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:41 pm 
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"



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